Self Improvement » Overcome Shyness

Provide constant support to children

icamm — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 15:45:03 +0000

Shyness has its roots in early childhood experiences. By providing support to shy children, you can help them overcome shyness effectively.

Children and shyness

Unlike adults, children express their shyness differently and more directly. Shy children are reluctant to talk, show fear of people and tend to hide behind others in times of unavoidable interactions. Some children also become irritable, aggressive and miserable during profound periods of shyness. Children are not able to overcome shyness without obtaining emotional and mental support from adults.

Providing support to children

The child needs to feel accepted and wanted at all times. Despite shyness, children confident of being loved at home show greater progress and lesser behavioural problems. Parents and guardians need to understand the exact nature and intensity of shyness in their children. They should also recognize the situations where the children are more vulnerable. For example some children are extremely shy in extended family functions. Before participating in such events with the child, parents need to assure the child of his safety and security. The child should not be forced to talk with adults or play with other children. This will make the child feel victimized and the problem can become profound. While providing support, the focus should be on building self-esteem and self worth.

The feeling of being worthy will also boost the child’s opinion about himself. He should also be taught social skills suitable for his age. This should be done in a fun way and should not appear like a chore to the child. Avoid talking about this ‘problem’ in front of your child. Some children unintentionally enjoy the attention and may refuse to cooperate with the parents later on. The process of helping children overcome shyness is a slow and a gradual one and it should be kept that way. Rushing the child in new situations in an attempt to make changes quickly is not an ideal solution. Understand your child’s unique personality and work with him accordingly. However, You may also need to seek professional help if the problem persists or worsens.

Practicing social skills one at a time

icamm — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 19:15:03 +0000

The process of overcoming shyness is a slow and gradual one. You need to practice social skills, one by one in order to learn and implement them effectively.

Importance

There are different types of social skills you can learn. However, rather than focusing on the entire aspect of ‘social skills’ you can break down the skills and learn them one at a time. This enables you to pay attention to each skill separately and hence learn it effectively. It also gives you time to soak in all the details without creating confusion and unnecessary anxiety.

Types of social skills

You need to be aware of different types of social skills. You can gain a lot of information through the Internet and through books. You can then make a list of all these skills and basically pick and choose the skills to be learnt one by one. As soon as you are confident with one skill you can move on to the next one. Basically, there are two important types of social skills, verbal social skills and non-verbal social skills. Verbal social skills include factors like use of words, use of effective vocabulary, and also the style of delivery.

Non-verbal social skills on the other hand include skills like listening skills, perfect use of body language and gestures etc. the real art lies in making effective use of both verbal and non verbal social skills. While, verbal skills can be practiced through training and knowledge of etiquettes. Non-verbal social skills are mostly adopted through observation in context of socially appropriate norms. Each skill requires you to make different efforts. How soon you will learn also depends upon the nature and characteristic of the skill under question. Other social skills involve the use of social intelligence. They enable you to understand other’s emotions, recognize patterns, predict the outcomes and understand body language. This is the most difficult skill to learn. However, with understanding and patience very soon you will be able to have complete command over ‘social skills. This will also help you combat shyness.

Online discussion forums

icamm — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 08:00:15 +0000

Now- a -days new improved ways are used to understand and deal with shyness. Online discussion forums are specially popular and used by many people for this purpose.

Popularity

Online discussion forum is a unique facility that enables you to discuss variety of issues with people all across the world. Online forums are also known as, message boards. This system started roughly around 1995 and has been popular ever since. Recently, online forums are used by many people to discuss their most pressing problems and seek solutions from people just like them. This also works as a small online community, which works as a blessing in disguise for shy people who depend on such forums to express their views and opinions openly.

Using online discussion forums

You can easily render the facility of online discussion forums if you have an access to the Internet. You need to begin by first choosing a community you are interested in. you then need to register yourself in such groups. Registration is mostly free. You simply need to fill an online registration form. You can enter anonymously or else you can select a user identity. Once you are registered you are free to communicate with the other members. The members differ across continents and countries. This enables you to seek advice from people all over the globe. In other words participants can exchange open messages to each other. You can therefore ask open questions about shyness, express your discontent and apprehension and implore others to provide you with solutions.

There are therefore many advantages in using online discussion forums. You can use such forums for letting of stem or for actively seeking advice. Your communication skills can improve indirectly. It will also give you the mental satisfaction of interacting with a number of individuals without feeling anxious. You can also confide about your problems to like-minded people and get empathy in return. You can also control all your interactions. Your options broaden and best of all you can overcome your shyness by gaining emotional support and sympathy from others.

Observe interaction of confident people

icamm — Fri, 26 Aug 2011 02:00:04 +0000

Being on a shyer side gives you an opportunity to observe others from the sidelines. This can be used to your advantage by observing and learning the interactions of confident people.

Learning through observation

Human beings are blessed with amazing power of observation. We are constantly observing others, either consciously or unconsciously. Many theorists of human behaviour have pointed out observation as an important tool of learning. In fact, learning also causes shyness. We can therefore use observation for learning social interactions.

Important tips

To take advantage of this technique, you should consciously observe the world around you. You need to have some practice of observation for at least a couple of minutes each day. You can observe anything around you for practice. As you develop your confidence, you can move on to the observation of people. Observation needs to be done on two important levels. First of all you need to observe the body language and gestures of confident people. Main focus should be on the way they stand; use their hands and the way they use facial expressions to communicate their thoughts. This not only enables you to adopt appropriate body language, but it will also help you to interpret some one else’s behaviour during interactions.

The second important factor to consider while observing others is that of the actual use of language, tone and pitch of voice. You will be able to understand the different ways in which people express their opinions and adapt to each other’s thoughts. Confident people seldom appear anxious during interactions even when there are minor conflicts and disagreements. You can make a note of all this mentally and use it the next time you have to interact with others. You can then move on and establish a connection between body language and speech to accurately analyze someone’s behaviour. You should also pay attention to individual differences during interactions and understand different styles. By combining this knowledge and adding your own personal touch, you will be ready to interact with others on a more confident note.

Make a deliberate effort to be outgoing

icamm — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 22:45:02 +0000

Avoiding social situations just because you are shy makes a lame excuse. On the contrary you should make deliberate efforts to be outgoing in order to combat your shyness.

Engage yourself

Shy people hang back when it comes to attending functions or important programs. They rarely attend social events own their own. If they do attend, then they are not able to enjoy them very much as they feel out of tune with their surroundings. If you belong to the millions who make excuses for staying at home, then you need help. You can start by engaging yourself in social events slowly and gradually until you find yourself comfortable in all situations.

Getting started

Outgoing does not mean that you have to attend every pajama party in town. It means, investing your time in social events by consciously and actively joining in all the aspects of the event. There are several important factors you need to take into consideration before facing the world. First of all, you need to define the concept of outgoing. For a fairly active person outgoing means attending every single party and initiating conversations. However for a shyer individual, outgoing may mean simply marking his or her presence in an event.

You also need to make a list of situations where you find yourself most comfortable. Facing such situations in the beginning is advisable because it gives you a level of control. You can practice some skills before attending any event. Pay special attention to your body language, as this will help you express yourself in situations where you find talking impossible. As far as possible dress appropriately for the occasion. You need to be ready to meet different people and face new situations; therefore mental preparation is very necessary. Relaxation techniques and deep breathing exercises are very useful if you feel anxious. You can even attend such functions with your friends and family, as they will support you emotionally throughout the process. By making extra efforts and reaching out to the society, you can control your shyness effectively.

Learning from mistakes

icamm — Fri, 20 May 2011 01:15:03 +0000

There are several ways in which you can improve your communication skills. The most effective way is by learning from previous mistakes.

Second chance

We often make mistakes while communicating with each other. It can happen while putting forth our ideas, or else while interpreting someone else’s thoughts. Reading between the lines for instance can be quiet challenging and saying the right things at the right time even more so. We frequently get a second chance for setting our faults straight.

How to learn from mistakes

Fortunately, human interactions are not based on how right you are while talking. There are no known measurements for social interactions. You can make a mistake and still maintain a relationship with people. The biggest mistake people make is that of misinterpreting body language in a threatening way. For instance if someone frowns when you are speaking, it does not necessarily mean that it is meant for you. It is essential therefore to avoid judging others over small issues. Another common mistake we make is that of setting standards for ourselves. It is not necessary that we have to speak a certain amount of sentences to maintain a conversation. It is equally wrong to take responsibility for breaking an uncomfortable silence in a group. By making common mistakes we are able to learn and understand more about communication skills. It also helps us formulate plan of action the next time we are in a similar situations.

People who tend to be shy are very cautious about making mistakes and attribute more to a situation than necessary. They are frequently worried and lose a night’s sleep over small mistakes that usually go unnoticed. However, it is important to remember, that the others do not see your ‘mistakes’ the same way you do. Quiet likely, it makes you seem more human. With time you will be able to understand how to communicate with strangers, and even with peers by observing yourself closely and making necessary changes in the future. All you need to begin with is, time and a handful of mistakes.

Learn social skills from early age

icamm — Mon, 28 Mar 2011 18:45:03 +0000

Shyness is easily treatable and reversible. However, prevention is better than cure. The best way to prevent shyness is by learning social skills from an early age.

Social skills

Social skills are nothings but skills that enable us to interact with others in an effective way. They help us predict and interpret someone else’s actions and behaviour. Compete social skills involve proper use of speech, body language and the ability to understand and interpret social situations. These social skills need to be taught to children as early as possible to prevent them from developing shyness. However, social skills can also cure shyness effectively if caught early on.

Learning social skills

Human beings are born with the desire to interact with others. However, by no means are we born with social skills. Social skills are learnt in the early years of our life either through observation or deliberate attempts by family members to socialize the young ones. Both methods are highly effective in teaching social skills. However, for observation, the role models need to be effective and should be equipped with social skills themselves. The best method therefore is to deliberately teach and learn social skills. As far as possible, children should be exposed to a variety of social situations. This enables them to understand individual differences and modify their behaviour accordingly.

Skills need to be learnt one at a time. Children and young adolescents should not be pressurized to learn the skills all at once. Practicing learnt skills is also essential. Family members can be used for this purpose. Learning social skills from an early age have many advantages. Children are highly adaptable to new situations and make necessary adjustments quickly. Faulty skills if any can also be effectively modified. However, it is never too late to learn. For learning social skills, older people need to be highly motivated. They should be willing to change their habits in the favour of new ones. The transition may not be smooth, but by learning social skills you will be ready to tackle your shyness effectively.

Know your subject matter of conversation

icamm — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 02:15:03 +0000

We cannot control our interactions with other people. However, by having reasonable idea about the subject matter of an ongoing topic, we can participate in any conversation effectively.

Conversational ability

Many shy people are not able to carry on discussions because of fear of being evaluated about their knowledge. By understanding the content matter of an ongoing topic, this fear can be controlled. One need not always have a lot of information about a particular topic. In fact very rarely do we have complete knowledge about the topics that are canvassed during social interactions. Understanding the gist of such topics is mostly sufficient to carry on the discussion without a hitch.

Understanding the subject matter

Usually conversations between people are focused on a few topics. However, one topic may lead to another and the participants need to refocus their attention in different ways to maintain their conscious participation in an ongoing discussion. If you find yourself in situations where the topics are completely alien to you, you can still show your interest and accept your ignorance. People are more than willing to brief you up on the topic. You also need to understand that one does not need to be an expert to initiate conversations as wanting to appear perfectly well read can lead to obstacles in interactions.

You should not only understand the subject matter from the theoretical point of view, but you should also have understanding about the level of emotional involvement of the participants. This enables you to form your responses in appealing ways. As far as possible discussions on sensitive issues should be avoided. This can lead to unnecessary conflicts and tensions in your partner or in a group. The importance of understanding the subject matter is profound if you are talking with a single individual. You should then rate the subject matter in terms of its importance, its content and in terms of your partner’s responses.

With concentration and observation you will be able to understand the topic, reduce your anxiety about it and overcome your shyness effectively.

Interact with both the sexes

icamm — Fri, 31 Dec 2010 08:00:03 +0000

Many shy people are uncomfortable in initiating and maintaining conversation with the members of the opposite sex. Inadequate knowledge and misconceptions regarding others is responsible for this problem.

Breaking barriers

Some people have great difficulty in interacting with the members of the opposite sex. Thy find it difficult to make eye contact, initiate conversation etc. some also show anxiety symptoms and others may have panic attacks. It is therefore important that these barriers are broken as soon as possible to avoid such extreme problems. For breaking barriers better understanding of both the sexes is very necessary.

Enhancing communication skills

The most effective way of overcoming barriers is by enhancing one’s communication skills. Communication skills need to be developed as they enable us to understand the ways in which social interactions happen and help us formulate our reactions. Dealing with members of the opposite sex is not as different as dealing with same sex members. Except the biological differences, both the genders can have a lot of topics that can be easily and comfortably discussed. Therefore you do not need any unusual skills or special communication patterns while communicating with the fairer sex Communication can be verbal or non-verbal Problems mostly occur in non-verbal communication cues like inappropriate body language.

Women who hang their heads in the presence of men or men who avoid eye contact with women may send different signals altogether. Therefore as far as possible adequate patterns of non-verbal communication skills need to be developed. Problems also occur while initiating conversation with others. To do this effectively, you can have mock conversation with your family and friends. Once you are comfortable during these interactions, you are ready to deal with the real thing. Problems can occur while responding to others as well. Simply answering appropriately to the questions asked will solve this problem effectively. Before facing others a few relaxation techniques like deep breathing exercises will work effectively in controlling your anxiety. By enhancing your communication skills, you will be able to increase your confidence and gradually triumph over shyness.

Initiate conversation with strangers

icamm — Sun, 07 Nov 2010 08:00:03 +0000

How often have you tried to approach new people and then backed out at the prospect of initiating conversation? It is now time to take the drivers seat and banish your own shyness.

Facts

All of us have to initiate conversation some time or the other. It is essential to do so in situations where we need information or services from others. Extremely shy people dread such situations and either avoid it or search for new ways in which to indirectly approach it. However, the sooner you start training yourself to initiate conversation, the sooner you will be able to lessen your shyness and take control over your life.

Tips on initiating conversation

Before planning on initiating conversation, mentally prepare yourself for spending at least five to ten minutes with the other person. Before approaching the other person, practice some deep breathing exercises. it is especially helpful for those who are highly anxious. Everyone wants to say something impressive and talk other than the weather, when initiating conversation. However, this pressure can lead to tension and undue anxiety. It is better to talk about the weather than nothing at all. Since first impressions matter, you should try and look approachable. As far as possible don’t look shabby and even overdressed.

People can find you intimidating. While initiating conversation, you should also take into account the listener’s age, gender and the general appearance. Try and gaze the level of interest, as this will help you to predict the listener’s response. Men should avoid talking in loud voices to women as they can find it intimidating and embarrassing. Avoid initiating conversation with a complaint about the environment or the political system as some people find such topics boring to say the least. It is not advisable to talk yourself to death. Instead ask questions and show interest in what the others have to say. This helps conversation and gives you time to relax. The most important of all, is to know when to end the conversation at the right time. This is the true art of initiating conversation.

Increasing self confidence

icamm — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 02:30:03 +0000

Self-confidence is an antidote for shyness, which helps one to be in tune with oneself and therefore confident about dealing with the world.

Understanding self confidence

Self-confidence is the ability of an individual to accept his strengths and weaknesses and maintain his composure in tough times. A self-confident individual is able to take charge of himself and trust his abilities to face a particular situation effectively. It helps one to plan and make decisions for ourselves without feeling anxious.

Tips for increasing self-confidence

The first step in feeling confident is to love and accept oneself. Love and acceptance helps one to focus on strengths and weaknesses and recognize one’s abilities and potentials fully. Once you have recognized yourself it’s time to increase your self-love by appreciating your potentials. A pat on the back after writing an essay or even after preparing dinner will do a great deal for your self-esteem. The best way to boots your confidence is by reducing your self-consciousness. If you start feeling anxious about yourself, you can draw your attention away from the situation and focus on something interesting and less threatening.

Taking responsibility in your home and among your friends and fulfilling it satisfactorily will also do a great deal to your confidence. Being busy with things you enjoy will also give you very little time to brood over your past. Avoiding a particular situation just because you are anxious is not an ideal solution to any problem. Infact, the more you avoid, the shyer you will get. Also, once you are able to face the situation, your confidence will increase automatically. For instance, just joining in an ongoing conversation occasionally will help you to initiate conversation some other time. Set yourself a realistic goal every week for increasing your confidence. You can even maintain a diary to set targets and trace your journey. While setting goals, do not overestimate your capacities or underestimate your success. Simply standing confidently on a bus stop can be a realistic goal and will help you to achieve the final target of overcoming shyness.

Increase your presentation skills

icamm — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 05:00:03 +0000

Many people suffer from stage fright and this is specially the case with shy people. By sharpening your presentation skills, you can control your fear and combat shyness effectively.

Importance of presentation skills

Many people look upon presentations as highly dangerous scenarios. This happens because of your lack of confidence and performance anxiety. Presentation skills provide you with ammunition that helps in controlling fear and anxiety. At the same time, they make you more confident and much more in control of the situation.

Improving presentation skill

Oral presentation is the most challenging of all types of presentations. For improving these skills, you need to begin by believing in your abilities and potentials fully. Merely learning skills gets you nowhere, if you don’t believe you can use them. Your appearance matters a lot on stage. As far as possible, you should look neat and tidy and wear outfits suitable to the occasion. The other important skill is that of using your voice, gestures and body language effectively. These things mostly seem to be in your control and the more you practice, the greater will be your control over them.

If you are extremely shy then you need to practice deep breathing exercise along with relaxation technique to control your anxiety. You can even infuse a sense of humour and joke about your shyness in front of an audience. Letting them know you are shy, will reduce your anxiety effectively. You need a lot of practice however, before facing an audience. The best place to start is by talking to the mirror. You can then practice your skills with your family members and friends. You can keep adding members to this support groups until you have a fair amount of appreciate audience to practice your skills on. Before any kind of presentation, you need to think positively about the outcome. In case you make any mistakes while presenting, it is necessary to keep going and cover your tracks as well as possible. Presence of mind along with practice is the perfect recipe for a successful presentation.

Identify role models

icamm — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 23:30:03 +0000

Do you believe imitation is no good? Think again. You can now deal with your shyness by identifying and learning the behaviour of your favorite role model.

The role of Role models

We are often actively engaged in observing the reactions of others. Some people make an immediate impression on our minds and we wish to be just like them. If we are exposed to these people for a long time, we start modeling their behavior. Shyness can be learnt from inappropriate role models. To unlearn this process, you need to get back to the basics and identify role models who can help you, overcome shyness.

Identifying role models

Appropriate role models help you understand the process of social interactions along with different techniques of conversation skills. Howver, you need to be very cautious while selecting your role models, as any mistake here, will intensify your problem further. The personal characteristics of your role models matter a lot. For this purpose, Age, gender, race and other personal details need to be taken into account. For example choosing young and outgoing models can pose a problem, as many a times you will find it difficult to adopt their energy levels.

You should also take into account the environmental and social factors that play a role in your model’s life. Some people have all the necessary facilities that enables them to be more outgoing and gregarious than others. As far as possible, the role models should be similar to you in terms of status, financial abilities as well as cultural and personal values. Prefer choosing role models who you know rather than those you see only on the silver screen You should also avoid going by the outward charm alone. You need to understand the internal characteristics of the person to make sense of his personality. Avoid depending upon the model for every solution as the best of people make mistakes. You can safely follow the footsteps of your role model for overcoming shyness only if you are careful enough to preserve your individuality in the process.

Have intimate relationships with close friends

icamm — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 04:00:05 +0000

Coping with shyness can be exhausting. However, Having intimate relationship with friends can provide you with welcome relief and much needed support.

The role of friends

You cannot battle shyness alone. You need constant support from your loved ones either directly or indirectly. You don’t necessary need friends to teach you social skills or to help you gain control. But you need friends, who can help you relax and who allow you to be yourself. Having intimate relationship with friends is highly important if you want to preserve your mental health.

How to bridge barriers

Shyness can create many barriers between you and your friends. With the help of following tips you can overcome these barriers effectively. Firstly, talk to you friends. Discuss your shyness openly and Keep them informed. The more you stay in touch with them; stronger will be your bond. Honesty is very important in any relationship. Be honest about your feelings towards your friends and don’t exhibit anything more or anything less. This specially happens when you have preconceived ideas about ‘ intimate relationships’ in your mind and you make efforts to comply with those standards.

Avoid having misconceptions and misunderstandings about your friends. In case you have some doubts you need to clear those immediately before starting on a new note. Don’t hold back from your friends when they to reach out to you. Many a times we are afraid of being rejected by friends and loved ones due to our shyness. Unknowingly we repeal every effort of our friends to comfort us. Instead, Be open and communicative. Many of your problems can be solved with their support, help and encouragement. Give your friends a chance to understand your personality and not just your shyness. You also need to think about different ways in which you can help your friends. This mutual relationship will enable you to communicate with your friends on an equal note. By bridging barriers you can have shoulders to cry on, and hands that will clap for you as successfully win your war against shyness.

Gauge your shyness level

icamm — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 07:15:03 +0000

Millions of people suffer from shyness due to some reason or the other. However, the level of shyness differs across people and across situations. Gauging the level of your shyness is very necessary for accurate diagnosis.

Levels of shyness

Shyness can be mild, chronic or acute. It can be limited to specific events or it can be generalized. Some people can function very well despite shyness while others do not. Some people are painfully shy and this can almost be equivalent to social phobia. Shyness can also be accompanied by some forms of anxiety disorders like panic attacks. Therefore shy people differ amongst themselves in terms of intensity, frequency and magnitude. You need to correctly gauge your shyness level in order to get accurate help.

Ways of gauging shyness levels

Level of shyness can be correctly assessed in many different ways. There are many psychological tests like self-report inventories that accurately estimate the exact level of shyness. These tests are standardized and are used by psychologists and counselors for diagnostic purposes. Another important technique is that of observation. You can observe your own personality and keep check on your shyness level. You need to assess your shyness against the situation, the symptoms displaced and your mental and biological reactions. For instance you will find your heartbeat increasing when you approach the member of the opposite sex but not while talking to a child.

Therefore you need to be very alert if you want to gauge your shyness level with this method. There are also many disadvantages associated with observation as you can overestimate or underestimate your symptoms consciously or unconsciously. The third way of assessing shyness is by taking the help of online shyness quizzes and tests. You simply need to log on and tick against the symptoms. You will be provided with your score along with its interpretation. However, such quizzes are not always accurate and lack depth. There are therefore many challenges for accurately gauging your shyness level. However, with proper caution and use of appropriate tools you can gauge your shyness level effectively.

Gain support from family members

icamm — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 06:30:02 +0000

Shyness prevents you from reaching out to new people and new situations. However, you can learn to deal with shyness, with the help and support of your family members.

The role of family

Family is the nucleus of society. For shy people, it tends to be the only comfortable part of society. Family members therefore have the capacity to influence the person in a positive way. By gaining support from family members you will have emotional support, moral strength and most of all acceptance.

Seeking help

The most common mistake we all make is that of waiting for the family to make the first move. However, your family may be prevented from reaching out to you because of your lack of communication. The first thing you need to do is to accept your problem. Don’t take it for granted that the members know every bit about your shyness issue. Be very clear while communicating your fears and doubts and don’t be afraid to go into details. This will help the members to understand the exact nature of your problem and will make it easier for them to give you required help.

You should be clearly aware of the nature of help you expect from your family members. For example, you may need your family to support you emotionally and not to protect you from certain situations. This needs to be made very clear right in the beginning. Allow the members to reach out to you. Don’t hold back as you need every ounce of support you can get. You should try and keep your family informed about all your little triumphs and set backs. The more you share; stronger will be your bond. Try and discuss this issue even with younger family members like children or younger siblings. This increased understanding with your family members will prevent them from having wrong perceptions about your personality. By accepting help, you will find this process of overcoming shyness a lot easier and will help you to bridge the gap with your family in the bargain.

Find like-minded support group

icamm — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 08:45:04 +0000

We all need help and support when it comes to dealing with our problems. It is even more necessary when the problem happens to be that of shyness.

Importance

People suffering from shyness get a lot of sympathy and pity from others. However, that is not enough if you want to help someone suffering from shyness. On the contrary, the problem can escalate even further. To overcome shyness, or help someone else to do so, empathy from like-minded people is very necessary.

Finding a support group

Finding a shoulder to cry on can be very difficult if you have limited option in terms of acquaintances. Shy people have intimate relationship with few others. However, they cannot boast of having a large social group that will provide opportunities for interactions. Finding a formal social support group can therefore be the best option. There are many psychologists and other mental health professionals who organize and arrange such support groups. These groups meet weekly or monthly under the supervision of counselors. Usually, the first few sessions are reserved for establishing rapport with the counselor and other members of the group.

All the group members are on an equal footing and vary only in their intensity of shyness. The next couple of sessions are then arranged in ways, wherein people can express their feelings comfortably. Some sessions are taken to train the group members in aspects of social, and communication skills. The most important aspect of such support groups is however related to the opportunity of meeting and interacting with like-minded people. This provides emotional support and motivation to overcome shyness. Practicing newly acquired social skills with other group member helps one to face the greater world with ease and a great deal of confidence. Support groups can also be acquired in the form of neighbours and friends. However, the major issue of such a social group is that, it will be lenient with you and its role will be restricted only to sympathize with you. Finding a like-minded support group is the best way of combating shyness effectively.

Enhance your personal grooming

icamm — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 09:45:03 +0000

Personal grooming involves taking care of yourself both in terms of body and mind; this facilitates positive attitude and feelings of self worth.

The connection

People suffering from shyness have poor opinions about themselves. This not only causes shyness, but also feeds it. In order to break this cycle you need to have self-love and self-respect. Personal grooming brings a spark back in your personality. Personal grooming makes the task of loving your ‘self’ easier. Self-acceptance is also achieved. All this is very necessary for overcoming shyness.

Enhancing your personal self

Since outward appearance is important, you need to start the process by grooming yourself physically. There are numerous parlours where you can go on a weekend and enjoy the luxury of massages, aromatherapies and get a makeover. However, You don’t always need to go in for expensive treatments; Even a good haircut makes you feel a lot better about yourself. You can join a gym and make yourself physically fit and healthy. Research has shown that regular exercise not only makes you fit, but it also helps release endorphins in the body that promote the feelings of goodwill and bliss.

Many of your frustrations can also be released in a gym in a safe way. For grooming your mind, you need make extra efforts. Try and engage in activities, which you like. Joining a library or a tennis club will not only make you feel better, but it will also help you meet new people in situations where you have something common to talk about. You can read inspiring books and watch television shows. Which, enable you to get new ideas for overcoming your problems. Try and engage in creative activities and develop your creativity. Creativity helps you in problem solving and at the same times provides relaxation to your mind. You can even join some Yoga classes. Yoga helps one to cleanse the body and soul effectively.

Personal grooming ensures development of your personality. You can then overcome shyness, feel confident about your potentials and learn to love yourself, all at the same time.

Enhance non-verbal cues

icamm — Sun, 17 May 2009 14:00:03 +0000

Communication takes place in two ways. You communicate verbally as well as non-verbally. Development of nonverbal cues plays an important role in controlling shyness.

Non-verbal cues and shyness

Development of non-verbal cues enables you to have command over communication. It gives you confidence and a much-needed coping mechanism to deal with anxiety and shyness. Non-verbal cues also help you have some level of control over your reactions. For example, you can shy away from talking, but at the same time you can show your interest through body language.

Enhancing non verbal cues

Non-verbal communication needs to be developed in the context of the culture. Special emphasis should be placed on development of eye contact, understanding facial expressions, and development of body language. Eye contact plays a major role in communication. Too much or too little eye contact can create discomfort in your partner. Therefore you should adjust your level of eye contact taking into account the comfort level of the other person. You need to pay attention to your facial expressions while talking. Frowning too much for instance is inappropriate in many situations.

Try and pay attention to all these minor details while interacting. You should also be conscious of your body language when approaching or responding to others. Effective body language expressed through gestures and postures signals the level of confidence. It also puts another person at ease and facilitates positive interactions. You should avoid making use of excessive gestures and movements while interacting. It can be quiet disturbing to the other person. Another important area of non-verbal cues is the use of voice through proper pitch, sound quality and pace of talking. Effective use of voice creates an immediate impression on the minds of other people. However, talking too softly, or too fast can create barrier in getting your message across. To enhance all these cues you need to practice constantly under an expert’s guidance. You also need to have patience as old habits die-hard. However, with patience and will, you can enhance your non-verbal cues and control your shyness in the process.

Emotional support for overcoming shyness

icamm — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 15:45:02 +0000

Shyness leads to avoidance of people. However, to overcome shyness, you need to have a strong emotional support from your near and dear ones.

How to enlist support

Deciding to have support is one thing and obtaining it is quiet another. To gather emotional support you have to come out of the closet and accept your shyness before others. Letting them know you are shy can in many ways lead to unexpected results. For one thing you will understand that your problem was obvious to others. Many misconceptions about your personality will vanish. For instance shy people are always misunderstood as arrogant and proud. You can then start asking yourself some important questions like whom you would like to include in your support group, and why. Sometimes we also indirectly demand support from others. Like throwing hints in normal conversation about your problem. However, many shy people are not able to be so diplomatic in their speech. It is also best to approach your problem directly. Besides enlisting the support of your family and friends, you can even declare your intentions to your other colleagues and neighbours. This may seem an arduous task, but the greater the emotional support, greater will be your chance for overcoming shyness. If the task of talking people into supporting you still seems impossible, then there are numerous support groups and group therapies that you can take advantage of through your local mental health centers and other such seminars.